What’s your definition of a super mom?
A super mom can just be a regular normal mom. A raising her kids and trying to make a better life for her family. To one mom she might not even feel like she is a supermom. She is just a normal person providing and caring for her family!
Next there is no such thing as a super mom. Just moms doing things for their kids as parents. We all make mistakes and we learn from our mistakes and try to do better next time. We are just moms. It’s the outside world who thinks that a super mom is something special.
What about the mom who struggle for years to get her autistic son to just take a shower, is she a super mom? A mom who spends years fighting with meltdowns every day for several years just to get her child to take a bath without a freaking meltdown.
No, she just a mom trying to do what’s best for her child and trying to teach her son good values of self-care. I would like to share my personal story with Bain. B
First this past week even with us getting ready to move we have been working on Bain being to take a shower by himself without the help of a parent for obvious reasons. He just turns nine years old a few weeks ago. Next he needs to be doing some self-care on his own as he is getting order and mommy doesn’t want to be having to wash him forever.
To do this has not been an easy journey. Several years of fighting to just get him in the tub to even washed him! Talk about a struggle where every night is a struggle and constant meltdown! I had to force him to get undress and make him get in tub by picking him up.
As a mom bath time should be a time to sit down and be able to enjoy the night time routine with our kids. There are so many moms out there that all they want to do is to be home and do their kids night time routine and be able to tuck them in at night.
I dreaded bath time because I knew that bath time meant a meltdown for my son. The screaming, yelling, and kicking every day for bath time was our normal for years! This has been exhausting and overwhelming journey. It look like there was no hope in sight. That there was no hope of him ever being able to take a shower or just a bath by himself.
What is a meltdown
I thought I would take a quick second to explain what a meltdown is to someone with autism. Meltdowns is not the result of a disciplinary problems or an indication of bad parenting. The child is not in control and they are not just misbehaving.
A meltdown is a result of being over stimulation and is very common thing for people with Autism. Meltdown are not tantrums. This is not the case through. A meltdown is different, the child is not watching for reaction, or their safety and doesn’t calm down once the situation has been resolved.
Above all, the constant meltdown from the lasted past 5 to 6 years. until suddenly within the past month it just stopped out of nowhere! Talk about a mom having so much relief and amazement that after the past 5 to 6 years. My child gets in the bathtub without the kicking screaming and yelling.
I just tell him its bath time and he get undressed and goes into the bathtub out of freaking nowhere. I stand there and just frozen waiting for the meltdown to start like every night and it never came.
The sense of pride and astonishment was overwhelming but as a mom of an autistic child you know everything can change in a quick second. So, you hurry into the bathroom where you can quickly give them a bath, turn the water on and get soap on them as soon as you can to get the bath over with before the meltdown begins that’s possible in any second. More a surprise the meltdown never ends up happening!
Like what the world just happened here! Bain gets out of the tub I hand him a towel and he goes gets dressed by himself just like a normal 8 year should get ready for bed.
It’s the little things in life just a simple as getting your child to take a bath. Without the meltdown makes you feel so accomplish. You enjoy the small moments in life that you can sit back and enjoy. A child taking a bath without fussing and just being normal. We are lost to how easy it is versus the child who has a complete meltdown at every bath.
There are no words to describe the joy you feel. Seeing a childlike Bain go from having a meltdown to take a bath with ease out of nowhere.
The next time I call for bath time with that sense of dread that you are so used to feeling.
In the back of my mind wondering if the last night was a fluke. Will we go back to meltdown central. I call bath time. Bain gets undressed again and went to the tub and waited. I quickly go get him clean up as quick as I can. The next thing he gets out when he done towel and gets dress.
It continues to get better
Second night in a row with no meltdown go us! Your mind quickly wonders if this is it can we start enjoying bath time without the meltdowns and start enjoying time together. I start wandering if I can finally get him to wash himself without me having to do it.
Next I start working on that so we can work on moving him more to an independence and doing his self-care on his own.
A few weeks go by and still no meltdowns at bath time. This is a huge accomplishment and such a little thing that so many people overlook. How a simple thing as taking a bath can change everything. We started enjoying our time together as I get to tuck him in to bed at night him calm and happy versus tired, mad and wore out from the meltdown.
After the few weeks of our small success, I start working on Bain starting to turn the bath water on by himself and he quickly picks up on that. Now we are working on him putting his own soap on to his sponge. Then we already got him washing himself once the soap is on the sponge, but he still needs help getting the soap on the sponge.
He so close to accomplishing a thing that is so small to normal people on the value of taking a bath by themselves. He has not reach that completely yet, but we are working our way up there.
Where we are at now
My daughter Emmajane wanted to follow her brother steps and take a shower by herself without mommy to. Meanwhile, I started teaching Emmajane along with Bain.
The other night she did all the steps by herself without mommy help. Emmajane was so happy and proud of herself. The night Emmajane took a shower by herself.
Emmajane excitement is what gave me the idea for this post. Therefore, it’s the little things to learn. The joy of doing something so small changes everything.
Finally the reason I been working with the kids on taking a shower instead of a bath is because our new place that we are moving into next week has no bathtub in the kid’s bathroom.
I still working on getting Bain to the point where he is doing everything by himself and not needing my help at all. It’s a work in progress.
It reminds me of this one quote. “Strive for progress not perfection. “
I am just happy about how far he has come. Next he will be able to take a shower very soon with no help from me.
In conclusion, its the little things in life that makes you so proud. You get to enjoy life and enjoy these small moments for something as simple as getting your kids to be more independent.